By now, you have all heard that Tiger Woods crashed his car into a fire hydrant and a tree last week. And his wife Elin apparently came out of the house to “rescue” him. Yeah, she rescued him by smashing in his rear windshield with a golf club and then pulled him out of the back window.
Me thinks not all is well in Woodsville. Where there is smoke, there is fire. Personally, I think Tiger needs to admit to his alleged affair with Rachel Uchitel. By lying about it, the story is being dragged out over a week’s time frame. Alex Rodriguez admitted to using steroids. The story died. David Letterman admitted to having sex with a coworker. The story died. Tiger should take a lesson from those guys. Their PR people obviously know how this game works. And now with the 911 call, a voicemail and text messages making the news, as well as another woman who is claiming to have had an affair with Tiger, the lie will have to end.
I’m still a Tiger Woods fan. Everybody makes mistakes. I can forgive. And I’m glad to see that people can joke about this news. Isn’t it good to be able to laugh a little bit?
- Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly… but put me down for a 5.”
- Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.
- What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards……..
- What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
- Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
- Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger!
- What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.
- Elin’s excuse? She had to play a bad lie.
- We now see that tiger woods drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway.
- What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.
- Whats the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball.
- Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.
- What was Elin doing out at 2.30 in the morning? Clubbing.
- Why did Tiger Woods crash into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood or an iron.
- It’s been a tough year for tiger. 2nd time he has been beaten by a nine iron.
- Nike wants to drop their endorsement, apparently Tigers balls go everywhere.
- Apparently, Tiger had a 2:30 Tree Time.
- Did you hear that Tiger is changing his nickname? Yeah, it’s still in the cat family: Cheetah.
- All of this happened because Tiger picked up another birdie.
- Tiger Woods is apparently giving up pro golf. According to him, “My putting is still good, but I keep driving into the trees.”
- The Bitching wedge would have been another solution.